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One Single-Issue Voter

Political-type people hate “splinter” voters, who vote on the basis of one single issue, regardless of all other policy issues.  You know, don’t bother me with the facts – plural – I only need one fact – singular!  For example, I have relatives who would gladly vote for Satan himself, if he would just outlaw abortion.

I am also a one-issue voter.  By my standard:  Presidents Reagan, Bush I, Clinton, and Bush II have all been failures.  Next month, I’ll know whether President Obama is also a failure.

That’s because loud commercials drive me crazy.  It is a type of home invasion.  It is a physical violation of my ears and mind.  I’ve spent years praying for a Steve Jobs-type person to develop some device that gives me complete control over the noise in my own home.  Lobbyists insist that I already have that control, because I have a remote, but that ignores the time between the noise invasion and whenever I find the remote and the mute button.  It also ignores the aggravation.

However, on June 4th, the latest amendments to the Commercial Advertisement Loudness Mitigation (CALM) Act become effective.  It requires a new algorithm that deletes silent time during the commercial in evaluating whether a commercial is in compliance with CALM.  When this law took effect in December of 2013, it required the “average” volume of the commercial to be no louder than the programming or the non-commercials.  But, advertisers need a sudden blast of noise to get your attention.  Therefore, they put a few seconds of silence at the beginning and end of their commercials, reducing the “average.”  That practice stops next month . . . I pray.

Let’s hope Obama is more than just another failure!