The Flinchum File

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Suspended Agony

When jumping out of airplanes, it is advisable to be wearing a parachute.  The only problem is that parachutes require two large straps to go between your legs.  However, when the parachute opens and the rate of fall slows suddenly, there are certain anatomical challenges for males.

To prepare paratroopers for this sensation, there is a building in Jump School known as “suspended agony,” where each trooper hangs from the ceiling with all his weight on the two strategically placed straps between his legs.  The minutes tick by like hours.

The wait until the European summit this Friday has become a form of suspended agony.  The world stock markets need relief from the spectre of financial collapse in Europe, followed by a break-up of the Euro.  The world was already emotionally over-invested in the outcome of this summit, but the over-investment increased dramatically with  S&P’s announcement that 15 EU nations, as well as the all-important EFSF, may possibly lose their triple-A credit rating very soon.  Since then, the stock markets have drifted, with a slight positive bias.

Dow futures suggest it will gain about 20 points at the open.  I expect little volatility in the market until Friday, which is already the most volatile day of the week.  That afternoon could be exciting or terrifying but certainly interesting.   The minutes will tick by like hours for investors!

Frankly, I expect the “can to be kicked down the road” but only a short distance.  That delay will be disappointing to the market, and it is not nice to disappoint the market.