This weekend, I visited a loved one who has just entered hospice.  Since then, I have been thinking of the great 1997 classic by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross entitled On Death and Dying.  The thesis of her book is that a person goes through five predictable stages before dying.  They are (1) denial & isolation, (2) anger, (3) bargaining, (4) depression, and finally (5) acceptance.  However, there is no predictable amount of time that each person needs to spend in each step, but given enough time, each person does experience each stage.

My loved one does not seem to have experienced the first three stages at all.  (Of course, it has only been a week since we all learned the bad news.)  Still, she appears to have skipped the first three stages and moved directly to stage four; quietly approaching stage five.  I would guess that is because the bad news was not really a surprise to her.

To an existentialist, all the sorrow associated with the normal biological act of dying — especially after a long, good life — just seems pointless.  And, it probably is!

The Bible tells us that “to be absent from the body is to present with the Lord” (2 Cor 5:8), which suggests death should not be sorrowful.  Maybe, the “ultimate absurdity” is that Christians are still frightened of death, ignoring the Bible.

But, that also reveals the ragged outer edge of existentialism.  There is more to existence than mere purpose. It is the many irrational little things that also make us human.  It is remembering a funny moment together.  It is remembering a lesson-learned together.  It is remembering an interesting expression they often said. It is remembering their smile.  Certainly, these things may have no economic importance or philosophical significance, but they do have meaning.

Probably, society does approach death in an absurd fashion, but we as individuals can remember our loved ones with whatever deep emotions we choose . . . and I will . . . and that is not absurd!