Worse, the disease is spreading wildly.  Victims of Denim Dependency can be found anywhere.  In pursuit of more customers, most fancy restaurants now permit victims to wear jeans while dining.   Recently, I saw two couples wearing jeans to the memorial service for one of their relatives.  Last Sunday in church, I saw three couples wearing jeans and said a little prayer of thanksgiving that they were wearing jeans and therefore not suffering.

Fortunately, victims of Denim Dependency already have the right to marry, but I have noticed their children also frequently suffer from this disease as well.  Maybe, they should not be allowed to marry and pass this disease to their children?

Apparently, the only known cure is golf.  I say that because the club where I play does allow jeans into their fancy dining room but not on the golf course.  Therefore, I assume the desire to play golf helps to overcome this dreadful dependency, but that is only speculation.

Predictably, as the number of sufferers increases, they have now begun asserting their civil rights.  These victims become quite indignant if told they cannot wear jeans EVERYWHERE.  Any place that prohibits wearing jeans is guilty of discrimination against victims who NEED denim.  It is inevitable that we will soon see the National Jeans Party, whose objective will be to defend their right to wear jeans in all places and at all times, even to the presidential inauguration.  Wouldn’t that be nice?