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For Your Listening Pleasure

10/25/2016

We interrupt this nauseating presidential campaign to bring you this breaking news:

There is a big world out there!

In Iraq, the battle to retake Mosul is underway, with 100 thousand Arab soldiers rooting out 5 thousand ISIS members inside Mosul, the scene of the first dramatic victory by ISIS.  This suggests that Obama’s strategy of making Arabs fight ISIS was a good strategy.
In Europe, the onslaught of Syrian refugees will affect their culture for generations to come.  This suggests that Obama’s strategy of not using air power against the Assad government when they crossed the infamous “red line” was not a good strategy.
In Columbia, voters decided to continue the longest-running civil war in Latin America history, when they rejected the truce with FARC.  This suggests voters will vote against their best political interest.
In England, voters decided to leave the European Union, suggesting that voters will vote against their best economic interest.
In Myanmar, the explicit effort to jump-start small businesses demonstrates the lingering belief that capitalism can strengthen democracy, especially a nascent democracy.
In China, the Communist Party is meeting this week to increase its power to demand loyalty, suggesting that the political system of communism can withstand the economic system of capitalism, if the “people” are properly bribed.  (And, have you noticed that their currency, the yuan, continues to depreciate, suggesting an undeclared currency war is already underway.)
In Venezuela, there is widespread hunger – real, genuine hunger – and riots in the street, presenting a slow-motion train wreck.  This suggests that communism and dictatorships are not the same problem.  Communists know how to bribe the great unwashed masses of people.
In Russia, forty million people participated in a civil defense drill, suggesting a rebirth in the Cold War there, if not here.  We may not bomb each other back to the stone ages, but both may be returned to the pre-information age by a cyber-war.
More importantly, did you hear the unconfirmed rumor that  The Donald’s hairdresser might be gay?

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